I will be the first to admit that being
bisexual, truly bisexual, and a
man is a hard thing to swallow and an even harder thing to defend.
Both men and women will either outright claim you are queer or they
will secretly harbor suspiscions, and if so, they are both wholly and
entirely wrong, so long as the man knows himself very well.
It is a double standard: a woman may be
bisexual and it is accepted as such, but if a man claims such a thing
suspiscions arise. Why? Is it not permitted for a man to
emotionally and sexually express himself with his same gender and for
only women to do so? Is it somehow "cooler" for women to
be bisexual? Do women get excited less by
the idea of two men having sex than men get excited at the thought of
two women having sex? I doubt it! I know that both women and men
want different things in this world, usually (a woman wants to be all
and a man wants to have all), but if they have a desire for the
opposite gender, then they most likely also have erotic feelings when
perceiving two or more of that gender uniting in sexual activity. If
for any other reason it is because sex between members of the same
gender is something "bad" and "forbidden" for the
opposite gender to perceive.
But I ask, "What is wrong with two
men expressing themselves as two women might?" What is less
beautiful or right about it? And why not see it as the same? Why is
one driven upward in society as exciting (female bisexuality) and the
other driven downward (male bisexuality)? Why the double standard?
And why do more women not come out in support of bisexual men as men
do for bisexual women? Is it that women are so into "being all"
rather than "having all" that this is not the case, or is
it something else? I wonder these things...
Granted, I have known a few women who
are quite openly excited by the thought of a man being with another
man, so this is not the case across the board; indeed I have dated
women who encourage such sexual activity. Certainly, not the whole
of society views bisexuality and masculinity as contradictory states
of existence, nor has this ever been the case; in fact, in
gladiatorial days it was quite common
for the victor to sodomize the loser as an added show for the entire
arena, which I am certain was much loved or it would not have been so
common an occurrence. I can guarantee that if the women did not love
it and the men did not also find it exciting, it would have rarely
been an occurrence at all!
What makes anything about same gender
sexual activity exciting to the opposite gender? Perhaps men love
the beauty of female homosexual behavior and females love the power of male homosexual behavior? I
do not know, but I do know there is a double standard.
On to me and my bisexuality...
I am quite secure in my bisexuality,
although I do not advertise it to anyone but those who both have a
need-to-know and who deserve to know, such as any partner I am with,
particularly if I am in-love with them and wish for them to be
in-love with the real me. It is hard being a man who is bisexual,
but it is my place in life. I am capable of loving both genders and
am capable of being sexually excited by both. I am able to express
myself across the board and to allow others to express themselves.
Maybe I am just oversexed, or maybe I
am just trying to be balanced in my life on many varied levels? I am
no less a man, no more heterosexual and no more gay – I am
bisexual. I am proud to be bisexual and I find myself at exactly
where I should be and maybe even at a higher plane of evolution for
being there. I am what I am. I am a bisexual man, secure in who he
is and what he desires, as well as who he loves. I am a bisexual man
and I am faithful, honest, and proud.
I love the woman I am
currently with and I want to marry her and I can and want to be
committed, but I am capable of loving and finding sexual fufillment
in both men and women – this is true bisexuality. A common
misconception of bisexuals, particularly men who are bisexuals, is
that they are incapable of commitment and loyalty. Just because I
can love both women and men, and I am able to find both women and men
sexually attractive does not mean that I must act upon those feelings
at all times. In that aspect, bisexuals are no different than
heterosexuals and homosexuals.
Peace & Happiness,
Alraune
