Thursday, May 1, 2014

Bisexuality and Masculinity

I will be the first to admit that being bisexual, truly bisexual, and a man is a hard thing to swallow and an even harder thing to defend. Both men and women will either outright claim you are queer or they will secretly harbor suspiscions, and if so, they are both wholly and entirely wrong, so long as the man knows himself very well.

It is a double standard: a woman may be bisexual and it is accepted as such, but if a man claims such a thing suspiscions arise. Why? Is it not permitted for a man to emotionally and sexually express himself with his same gender and for only women to do so? Is it somehow "cooler" for women to be bisexual? Do women get excited less by the idea of two men having sex than men get excited at the thought of two women having sex? I doubt it! I know that both women and men want different things in this world, usually (a woman wants to be all and a man wants to have all), but if they have a desire for the opposite gender, then they most likely also have erotic feelings when perceiving two or more of that gender uniting in sexual activity. If for any other reason it is because sex between members of the same gender is something "bad" and "forbidden" for the opposite gender to perceive.

But I ask, "What is wrong with two men expressing themselves as two women might?" What is less beautiful or right about it? And why not see it as the same? Why is one driven upward in society as exciting (female bisexuality) and the other driven downward (male bisexuality)? Why the double standard? And why do more women not come out in support of bisexual men as men do for bisexual women? Is it that women are so into "being all" rather than "having all" that this is not the case, or is it something else? I wonder these things...

Granted, I have known a few women who are quite openly excited by the thought of a man being with another man, so this is not the case across the board; indeed I have dated women who encourage such sexual activity. Certainly, not the whole of society views bisexuality and masculinity as contradictory states of existence, nor has this ever been the case; in fact, in gladiatorial days it was quite common for the victor to sodomize the loser as an added show for the entire arena, which I am certain was much loved or it would not have been so common an occurrence. I can guarantee that if the women did not love it and the men did not also find it exciting, it would have rarely been an occurrence at all!

What makes anything about same gender sexual activity exciting to the opposite gender? Perhaps men love the beauty of female homosexual behavior and females love the power of male homosexual behavior? I do not know, but I do know there is a double standard.

On to me and my bisexuality...

I am quite secure in my bisexuality, although I do not advertise it to anyone but those who both have a need-to-know and who deserve to know, such as any partner I am with, particularly if I am in-love with them and wish for them to be in-love with the real me. It is hard being a man who is bisexual, but it is my place in life. I am capable of loving both genders and am capable of being sexually excited by both. I am able to express myself across the board and to allow others to express themselves.

Maybe I am just oversexed, or maybe I am just trying to be balanced in my life on many varied levels? I am no less a man, no more heterosexual and no more gay – I am bisexual. I am proud to be bisexual and I find myself at exactly where I should be and maybe even at a higher plane of evolution for being there. I am what I am. I am a bisexual man, secure in who he is and what he desires, as well as who he loves. I am a bisexual man and I am faithful, honest, and proud.

I love the woman I am currently with and I want to marry her and I can and want to be committed, but I am capable of loving and finding sexual fufillment in both men and women – this is true bisexuality. A common misconception of bisexuals, particularly men who are bisexuals, is that they are incapable of commitment and loyalty. Just because I can love both women and men, and I am able to find both women and men sexually attractive does not mean that I must act upon those feelings at all times. In that aspect, bisexuals are no different than heterosexuals and homosexuals.

Peace & Happiness,


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